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Knowing the older daughter was not good enough for her brother, she led a shining path to the Raven's house. The older daughter decided she would rather marry the ugly Raven then go back to the dirty boy. Star knew that the older daughter's vanity would get to her and would rather marry for wealth than love. Alas, Sun had the younger daughter all to himself, and as his wife no less. Star knew of the girl's good nature but she wanted to make sure she would be able to keep her vow of in sickness and in death. So she told the daughter to take care of her poor, dying husband during the day and return to her father's house at night. Star figured that if she kept coming back to her new home, she would take her new role as a wife seriously. This was no easy feat for the daughter for she was constantly ridiculed by her sister's new family. They flaunted their wealth that the poor boy could never compare to. But like a good wife, she did not notice them and kept attending to her husband. Sun was happy with the level of loyalty his new wife had and decided to show her their true forms where they lived happily ever after.
Author's note: I wanted to stay close to the story but wanted to focus on Star's intentions. This was based of the story Dirty Boy.
I wrote my story over this tale as well! I love how you rewrote it from the sister's perspective. I think that it adds an interesting layer to the story, especially since she is essentially the meddling little sister. I think that your writing is very clear and precise as well. I didn't see any glaring grammar mistakes, which is awesome! I look forward to reading your stories in the future!
ReplyDeleteHey Mary! I enjoyed reading your story. I hadn't read the original tale so I'm not sure how it went, but I like that you focused on one character's intentions. There are always certain characters in books that I wish I could read the story from their perspective. Thanks for the story and I look forward to reading more in the future!
ReplyDeleteHey Mary!
ReplyDeleteThis is my favorite thing about storytelling. It allows us to be very imaginative and creative and tell stories from other people's perspectives. That is what you did and I think that you did an excellent job. Although I have not read this story thanks to your great writing I am interested in knowing more about the original story. You had a great story this week although I do wish you had a brief summary of the original in your author's note. Nevertheless, excellent job.
Hey Mary!
ReplyDeleteI read another story based on Dirty Boy this week and I loved how you both wrote them! I loved how the sun and the star were personified and how their personalities matched the characteristics of the sun and the star! I would try and break up your paragraphs a little bit more, maybe with some dialogue that would give us some more insight into the sun and star!